I Miss You

IMG_0242

Each day is a struggle
trying to maintain my sanity
in a world that doesn’t make sense
losing a loved one
but going on
my thoughts are cluttered
and my head is foggy
i must stay busy and keep going
but sometimes i focus too much
and slow down for a second
i lose control
a flashback to that awful day
when my world imploded
and i had to say goodbye
a son gone
a home broken
i do my best to take a step
towards the future
and not the cliff
but the abyss calls
and i want to give up
my tears will not stop
and all is a blur
but others call my name
and i realize that they remain
they need a dad
and a husband
they help dry my tears
redirect my path
the pain is so deep
so strong
their hugs ease the grief
help me subdue my thoughts
i am able to continue
at least for another day

Pushing forward

Haven’t been in to visit my blog since last Sunday, when I was practicing a little bit of art. I was quite busy this past week returning to school, and I have also started working towards some new and old goals. Most of my writing this week has been self-help and goal setting. I carry a notebook around, keeping track of ideas, goals, questions. It has been quite effective in my overall outlook, and I’ve been rather productive this week. My morning and evening sports radio has been replaced by motivational/self-help CDs. I had several from years ago, and also purchased a couple of new ones. I plan to continue on this path, and make the changes necessary to accomplish all I’ve set my mind on.

Looking far ahead,
what shall be the outcome,
good intentions,
stacked high and covered in dust,
or shall dreams realized,
shine bright and true?

Early showers

The plan was to sleep in this morning. My last Saturday before returning to school. I know I could use the rest before school starts back up but that’s not going to happen. Of course waking up early gives me a little quiet time to reflect on the day, and listen to the rain outside. I do enjoy a good morning rain. Plus my lawn could use it.

Awoke to the rain,
beating hard on the windows.
alarm clock pointless,
droplets of music playing,
nature’s morning wakeup song.

Day 4

Whew, not as easy to get up this morning. Felt like staying in bed. Going to be that much harder once Spring Break is over and I’m back to school. I’ll have to find that extra time somewhere if I want to continue writing, journaling, etc. I do have more time in the evening to write, but is seems my mind is always shot when I get home. The other issue with writing in the evening is the house is too busy, I’d have to wait until everyone was asleep before sitting down to write. Considering I’m usually one of the first ones to crash, that seems to be an unlikely scenario. As for now I’ll enjoy these quiet, non-work mornings, while I have them.

Clovers in full bloom,
yard shines like an emerald,
happy St. Pat’s Day!

Monkeys in my Head

Where do you write? When do you write? For me there is no set pattern, and perhaps that is my problem and the cause of my sporadic attempts at poetry or otherwise. My most recent attempts have been early in the morning. I usually wake up at 4:30, brush my teeth, grab a cup of coffee and sit down to write. I love the quiet still of the morning, and the occasional chirp of the bird outside. My mind is fresh and for the past couple of days I’ve been able to put a few words down. Not many, but it’s a start. As I write this, I’m sitting in Dunn Brother’s Coffee shop. No longer 4:30 in the morning. A different environment. 6:00PM on a Saturday. Small, but active town and a nice new coffee shop. The patrons are few, there’s light music, and the smell of the coffee is pleasing. If I was at home right now I wouldn’t be writing. I’d be wrestling with the kids, or working on some ‘to do’ list around the house. The coffee shop, although it doesn’t provide the quiet still of the morning, it seems to relax me. I can think, and I can write. Despite the people I don’t get distracted. No one talks to me, and I’m left alone. Alone with my laptop and my cup of hot tea. Some herbal blend, Mint something or another. The tea is ok.

So what about the ‘monkeys’ in my head? They made me write the previous paragraph. I wanted to start with the monkeys themselves, but they spewed out that random crap up top. You see the monkeys live inside my head and they are nothing more than the random thoughts which bounce around inside seeking to escape. They seem to drive me crazy if I don’t release them. I can’t be the only one who has these monkeys. Maybe you call them something else. But do you know the feel? A thought, or an idea which won’t rest or give you peace until it’s completed and slain in the real world? Poem. That’s what I’m thinking right now. Not sure where this rabbit trail has gone, but it’s time to find my way out.

Why did she walk in?
Auburn hair back in a braid,
Soft brown eyes sparkling.
Distracted from my writing,
Guess I’ll sit here and daydream.

NaPoWriMo – Day 7

Today’s prompt is to write a love poem . . . but the object of the poem should be inanimate.

You’re too hot for me,
But I don’t care.
I can’t resist your smell,
Or help but stare.

The perfect blend,
Of pure delight.
You beckon me approach,
Come take a bite.

No, it is not wise,
For your touch burns.
I’ve been here before,
But how my heart yearns.

I cannot resist,
My love will not die.
You are mine,
And once more I try.

You burn my fingers,
As I grab you once again.
My mouth waters,
And teeth slowly sink in.

I gape for air,
But continue to chew.
Fresh chocolate chip cookie,
Oh, how I love you!

 

Poetry Month Day 6

I’ve come to the realization I won’t be doing 30 poems in 30 days, so I find time where I can and try to write when I can. So here we are on Day 6, making random observations and putting them into some type of poem. My observations included the following nouns; cars, trees, coffee, dog, people. Colors; gray, blue, green, white, yellow, black. What’s happening outside; cars driving, wind blowing, rain.

So I put these observations into a couple of haikus and a tanka.

Cars travel slowly,
gray clouds clap for attention,
rain soaks the city.

Trees sway in the blow,
green filled branches wave wildly,
people seek shelter.

Yellow dog resting,
as his owner chats away,
coffee house patrons,
warming brews and pastry treats,
forgotten storm howls outside.